Back in June, Brian Howard, the host of Latter Day Profiles, reached out online and invited me to be a guest on the show. When I looked through the archives of his previous guests I was surprised to see names like John Hunstman, Al Caraway, Brad Wilcox, Alex Boye, Hilary Weeks, and Timothy Ballard, among many other notable members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All of Brian's previous guests had done such meaningful and important work that I struggled with feelings of imposter syndrome! I had to remind myself that even though I am just an ordinary woman, each of our stories matter and there are others out there who may need mine.
A few weeks later found us filming at LDS Motion Picture Studios in Provo, Utah. I'd never been in a film recording studio and the room felt gigantic and impressive. I loved hearing about the some of the other projects that had taken place in that space and imagining the hustle and bustle that must exist in that space on projects like the more recent Book of Mormon videos. There was a crew of about 8 people who had set up a small portion of the stage to feel like an intimate discussion space with two armchairs and a cozy virtual fire between them. After a brief introduction to the host and manager and a wave at the crew, they wasted no time hooking me up with a mic and away we went!
I had been sent no questions or material beforehand and I knew that there would be no cuts as the interview was meant to feel "live." This made me so anxious that I might stumble over an unexpected question or put my foot in my mouth, which I am apt to do! I had prayed several dozen times in the days leading up that the spirit of the Lord could be with me and that I would be able to communicate my message clearly, concisely, and in a way that would invite others to find the same peace in Christ that I had found through turning to Him in our trials. Right before we began, I said a silent prayer in my heart, asking Heavenly Father to let Aiden be with me if it was possible, that I could bring honor to his memory.
I feel that God answered that prayer as I was able to speak with confidence and no regrets. Brian was an excellent host, very warm and inviting and his questions helped propel the conversation along in a natural and easy way. I did feel like I was just barely scratching the surface with my answers especially after our 3 hour podcast interview on "Out of the Fire" in the spring. All total, the whole experience took less than 45 minutes from start to finish. If I hadn't been so nervous not wanting to take up their time, I probably would have asked dozens of questions off camera and explored a bit, but I have no idea what is protocol in that environment and wanted to be as professional as possible.
My husband, Burke, was so wonderful to come and support me and was able to sit behind the cameras and sound crew to watch the process. He mentioned afterward that as he observed, he noticed one of the young college students on the crew became emotional and wiped her eyes from tears. Afterward, she thanked me for my words, and I wondered if she was the one person Heavenly Father needed to hear my message. Any time I can help lift just one person, I feel that my time and effort has been well spent.
On Halloween, the interview aired on BYUtv and can be found at the following link on the BYUtv website or on the second link to the Latter Day Profiles archives. It will also air again on BYUtv on Sunday, December 12 at 7 AM.
I'm so grateful for all these new and wonderful experiences I am having as a result of "stepping into the arena" as Theodore Rosevelt said and sharing my heart with the world! It is a big learning curve, and though I have and will continue to make mistakes along the way, I am trying my best to grow gracefully as we go. Thank you for being along for the journey!